black clouds even blacker

Is it the phase of the moon or a bad work schedule? Depression normally doesn't come on 'til Winter, but I feel like shit. I want to sell anything related to any hobby I have, because I don't seem to have the time nor the desire. I haven't been outside much in the past few months except for going to and from the car. The garden is overgrown and the basement needs to be sorted out. Turntables, no. Cycling, no. Guitar? I might have seen one or two, maybe three in a closet somewhere. I just need to spend a few days in bed in a soft cuddle. Maybe some fried food. THe soft brush of lips and a light sigh. I don't want to make money for someone else or pay to live in a building that someone else owns. I don't want someone else's booze or food made in a factory. I want the things that I want. ...fuck.

Morning

It's a beautiful morning on Mt. Doom. Drinking some Amaro Gayo and listening to Wolves in the Throne Room and enjoying the after effects of last night's thunderstorm. It's still a bit humid, but at least the Sun isn't trying to kill us! Life out here is so close to perfect that I shouldn't complain. I've thought about this sort of life for so many years and I'm sure in a few more it'll be closer to perfect. Maybe a non-electric handpump option on our well? Rainwater catch systems? Woodstove? Being off the grid and totally self sufficient is a dream of mine. I don't want to support all these companies that drill, pollute the water and air and then sell it back to us at a price that inhibits our ability to pay for health care to fix the damage they caused in the first place. Not having to drive to work would be nice, too. Just living on what's here. Don't get me wrong, as much as I complain about it, I feel fortunate to have two jobs that provide a comfortable living. Especially in a time when so many have lost their jobs, though most people would not consider this living comfortably! We just don't seem to need as much as everybody else AND we could still cut so many corners! Hmmm, woodstove, wood oven, root cellar, no need for clocks. Sounds nice.

Mid Summer

The past few days were horribly hot and humid. At to the fact that we've had lots of company, hangovers and work and it's been rough. There's no reason to show up at 8am with teenagers to put up a porchswing. I like my routine and it doesn't involve being social. Coffee, news, filthy baggy clothes...yes. Company, no. Well, if it's Calum and he's helping me make a kick ass breakfast, that's different.
Anyway, the past year or so I've been stressing out about the whole being vegan/eating local/getting proper nutrition thing. If we lived somewhere like California it would be much easier, but western New York is trickier. Tonight it's pizza, thunderstorms and Hell's Kitchen if the weather permits.