It figures

Lately I've been more than a bit nervous that something was going horribly wrong in my body. Between the split second headaches that felt similar to what I would imagine getting hit with a hammer would feel like, near crippling panic attacks(sometimes while driving) and odd numbing in different parts of my body. Not being the type to rush to a doctor, I used the handy internet to see if I could figure out what all this meant which lead to a couple of theories including diabetes, cirrhosis and stroke. Any of which seemed likely considering the way I've pushed myself the last 15 years. Finally I'd had enough and decided to see a doctor. Unfortunately I the only appointment I could get would have me waiting a week long than I was comfortable with, so I went to the ER. Weird. First came the questions. Fine. Then the blood pressure test. Oops, pretty high, but totally expected. Then the blood sugar test. Normal. Normal? Sweet, looks like I can take diabetes of the table. The Doc listens to my heart. Murmurs? No murmurs this time. Check the eyes. Seems fine. Now they decided it's time to take half my blood. Off it goes. Now this is the part that made me nervous. They want chest x-rays and CT scans. Crap. Off I go to get zapped. Now I'm a bit freaked out. The nurse tells me they're looking for tumors. I HATE the T word. I still have that one in my arm that showed up when I was about 19 and I don't need any more. Okay, the radiation is done and I'm back in the ER with Dawn waiting for results. After a Doctors' 10 minutes(that's 20 to the real world) the results are back. Nothing is wrong. Really? Really. All the test came back normal. Hmm. Okay, so I ask about the punching bag. Yep, liver works just fine. I'll take it. So, I ask about all the weird symptoms that I've been having and they tell me it's more or less stress. I need to relax, because it's manifesting itself physically. I was told to rest, drink clear liquids and avoid booze(okay), cigarettes(sure) and caffeine. Caffeine? I roast coffee for a living and I've been drinking coffee since I was five! This is going to prove to be a challenge. At least it's just stress, right?